Sunday, 15 April 2012

China - The Quotes



(Of the braking zone in Turn 6)
DC: It's like being hit in the back of the helmet with a sledgehammer, when you give that first push on the brake pedal...

DC: I like Gary's expression there, more effort there in qualifying. It reminds me of my schooldays! "Must try harder."
BE: Did you ever have that when you were driving, from an engineer?
DC: Oh, constantly.

(Vettel is told he didn't make it through Q2)
DC: That hurts.

EJ: Where is that finger now, I ask? It's disappeared in one swoop!
JH: It's holding his helmet now...

DC: This is like Formula Ford racing, rather than Formula One, it's so close out there.

(Rosberg blows everybody's doors off)
BE: A [1] 35.1! A 35.1! That is a very rapid lap indeed!

(And then strolls off to get weighed before the flag drops)
DC: Just a thought, random thought, but if I was Rosberg, and I think I'm about to possibly have my first pole, I would hang around the garage for the team hug - if it happens - but he's just all alone, walking down to get weighed. Hasn't anyone told him? Hasn't he looked at the screens?



(Guest pundit Johnny Herbert is shown footage of his 1995 British GP win)
JoH: I'm just surprised it's not in black and white!

MB: A Formula One driver fits into a car like a hand fits into a glove.

(Of the pre-race parade on the pit straight)
SL: I saw an elf on a Segway, which you don't see every day, just going down there.

(Talking to Christian Horner)
MB: I hope you're going to reprimand [the team] for starting the engines while the boss is on the TV, for goodness sake.
CH: I think they do it as soon as they see you, Martin!

(On the grid)
MB: I would like to find a Mercedes-Benz driver...well, let's look for a whole bunch of cameras, and then we might just find a Merc-a-dees driver...(He queues for Rosberg and turns to his PR woman) We always bring him good luck, you know. I think you might have to get in there and, like, boot the others out...(Watching Rosberg speak to someone else) He'll never see where to brake at the first corner after that shirt, he'll be dazzled, won't he?

(Senna's engineer radios about how they need to get "through Massa")
DCr: Or 'round Massa', probably.
MB: Well, he tried 'through', didn't he, and it didn't work? Now he's got to go round him.

MB: Vettel, last year, the year before, he was perfect off the start. Perfect in qualifying. What is going on? It seems like his whole skillset has fallen away at the moment.

MB: Schumacher about to become the cork in the bottle, I reckon.

(Michael retires)
MB: Argh, oh! I haven't been this disappointed since Shrek 2. That is such a shame.

MB: The strategists' brains will be smoking, smoke coming out of their ears, working out when to stop a driver and where to feed him out into any sensible place on the track.

(Ted Kravitz breaks off for some team radio from Paul di Resta)
Engineer: Paul, we are definitely still in a race here. Definitely still in a race.
TK: Everyone's still in a race.

MB: As we expected, Jenson's in the pound seats.

MB: Look at Alonso. Because Hamilton's being held up behind Perez, he's right on the back of him. He's a magician! He just keeps on pulling something out of his hat. When he doesn't appear to have anything in his hat!

(Webber runs wide and very nearly flips arse over tit)
MB: As we watch Mark Webber, running, ouuugh, wow! Got plenty of air underneath that, didn't he? ... You don't wear your tyres out when you're flying through the air!

(Alonso runs wide on the marbles)
MB: I was watching - you were chatting away - and I was thinking "that's not gonna stay on the racetrack".
DCr: But, when you're a magician, even Harry Potter gets the odd spell wrong from time to time. Maybe it was one too many waves of the wand on that occasion.

MB: They've all driven - I think there's been some exquisite driving out there today. I mean, the side-by-sides, just tapping wheel rims, and not putting each other out of the race, and they're hard enough to drive by themselves, these things, without having to jockey around someone beside you.

MB: This is a big victory for Mercedes. They've been feeling pretty unloved in Formula One of late, with other teams cutting new deals in the Concorde Agreement for the future; this is an important marketplace for Mercedes-Benz, and that's very timely indeed, young Rosberg.

DCr: Martin, I know we'd all like to take home a trophy at the end of the day, what do you think of this one?
MB: Don't think it's the prettiest trophy I've ever seen, but it's...memorable, isn't it?
DCr: Rivals Jenson Button's fruit bowl, for his first win in Hungary...

(I would like to add an honourable mention to virtually everything in the BBC's F1 Forum show, which featured (among other things) some excellent banter about Eddie Jordan being texted by "George McCartney", Jakey-boy's iPad running out of battery, then using Twitter on his iPhone and carrying out a request to give Jenson Button a big kiss, EJ bodily shoving fans out of the way of the camera during the Mercedes segment, DC getting caught by a ravening pack of autograph hunters, and finishing with Lao the Chinese expert on English television coverage. Unfortunately he's only half right - I am beginning to agree with the popular opinion that the BBC has the better pre-race and post-race efforts, but Croft and Brundle are far superior to Edwards and Coulthard in race commentary, although I do think the BBC commentary team is improving as Edwards and DC get used to each other - and I also think that Sky's coverage was much improved by substituting the far more jovial presence of Johnny Herbert for Damon Hill. -Mak)

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