Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Martin returns to the BBC!

Here's an extremely sweet little moment from the BBC's F1 Forum show after the Bahrain Grand Prix; wandering through the paddock, Jake and DC spot a familiar face...


It's a wonderful sweet little moment; sadly region-locked to the UK at present.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Bahrain Grand Prix - The Quotes


MB: This is one of the most bizarre and confusing times that I've experienced in my life, as a Formula One driver and a person. Because 99.9% of this paddock haven't seen any trouble - we've moved freely from the airport to the hotels, the city, the racetrack, and we're all getting calls from home, friends and family, saying "come home, it's so dangerous". They think we're in some kind of war zone. It's difficult to compute; but quite clearly it's the main subject of the weekend, so it's an own goal for Formula One in many respects to be here.

(Vergne misses the weighbridge, so Martin gets a chance to talk about being DSQed at Monaco in 1991 for it)
MB: My mitigating circumstance - not that this bugs me, 21 years later!
DCr: But we're gonna bring it up anyway!
MB: ...Is that Nigel Mansell ran over the foot of the man who was pointing us into the weighbridge at Monaco, and they took him away, so he wasn't there to tell me to go in.


(A piece about starting up an F1 car)
MB: And still they don't need a driver! He's probably out back, drinking champagne and talking to girls.

(Sitting back-to-back with Michael for the track guide)
MB: ...and then you turn in, hugging the apex like your favourite granny.
MS: And then, with grandma hugging grandpa behind me, we come to the exit...

(A thermal imaging camera is turned on the pit lane)
SL: I was wanting to see which bits of me were hot, but I'm a bit disappointed. That might mean we've got no soul.

(On the grid with Mark Webber)
MB: The car looks so much better - I was just telling the viewers about the new, or the slot that's gone missing from your rear bodywork that we can't see through yer mechanics.
MW: I didn't know that!
MB: You didn't know that?
MW: No, no...
MB: Watch our programme!

MB: Don't forget, these cars are now full of fuel since you last saw them in qualifying - that's the equivalent of putting two passengers in them, and that is why they're having to be so careful into the braking zone.

MB: Grosjean is just applying the throttle so nicely. Listen to that, just sweeeeeping the throttle down, not allowing any wheelspin.

(Hamilton passes Alonso)
MB: Mr Angry passes the matador.

(di Resta overtakes two cars at once)
MB: That's Christmas and birthday all at once for Paul di Resta, isn't it?

(Maldonado spins as Rosberg forces Alonso off the course right in front)
MB: This is Nico Rosberg's party trick, up the hill, and it was so exciting...

(Massa comes up behind Alonso)
MB: Fernando, Felipe is faster than you. Might be time to do something about that.

MB:These two are neighbours in Switzerland, Raikkonen apparently always beats Vettel at table tennis, will he beat him today?
DCr: I was watching him, Martin, just after your gridwalk, and as you were running up to the commentary box, Kimi Raikkonen was just sauntering back onto the grid, you know, race suit down to his waist, just like he was turning up for a Sunday afternoon with his mates. Puts the helmet on, drops the visor, and it's almost like a split personality. He becomes a different man altogether.

(Hamilton comes in for his final stop of the afternoon)
MB: And we have...four wheels on our wagon!

MB: Grosjean, the first Frenchman on the podium since Jean Alesi in 1998.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Bahrain Grand Prix - Update Schedule

Assuming it goes ahead, here is the update schedule for the Bahrain GP: I'm out all day Saturday; quotes will not hit until late evening. Sunday I may or may not be watching the race live; if I do they will probably hit soon after the podium, if not it'll probably not be until late evening again. Submit submit submit! Twitter, email, comment.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

China - The Quotes



(Of the braking zone in Turn 6)
DC: It's like being hit in the back of the helmet with a sledgehammer, when you give that first push on the brake pedal...

DC: I like Gary's expression there, more effort there in qualifying. It reminds me of my schooldays! "Must try harder."
BE: Did you ever have that when you were driving, from an engineer?
DC: Oh, constantly.

(Vettel is told he didn't make it through Q2)
DC: That hurts.

EJ: Where is that finger now, I ask? It's disappeared in one swoop!
JH: It's holding his helmet now...

DC: This is like Formula Ford racing, rather than Formula One, it's so close out there.

(Rosberg blows everybody's doors off)
BE: A [1] 35.1! A 35.1! That is a very rapid lap indeed!

(And then strolls off to get weighed before the flag drops)
DC: Just a thought, random thought, but if I was Rosberg, and I think I'm about to possibly have my first pole, I would hang around the garage for the team hug - if it happens - but he's just all alone, walking down to get weighed. Hasn't anyone told him? Hasn't he looked at the screens?



(Guest pundit Johnny Herbert is shown footage of his 1995 British GP win)
JoH: I'm just surprised it's not in black and white!

MB: A Formula One driver fits into a car like a hand fits into a glove.

(Of the pre-race parade on the pit straight)
SL: I saw an elf on a Segway, which you don't see every day, just going down there.

(Talking to Christian Horner)
MB: I hope you're going to reprimand [the team] for starting the engines while the boss is on the TV, for goodness sake.
CH: I think they do it as soon as they see you, Martin!

(On the grid)
MB: I would like to find a Mercedes-Benz driver...well, let's look for a whole bunch of cameras, and then we might just find a Merc-a-dees driver...(He queues for Rosberg and turns to his PR woman) We always bring him good luck, you know. I think you might have to get in there and, like, boot the others out...(Watching Rosberg speak to someone else) He'll never see where to brake at the first corner after that shirt, he'll be dazzled, won't he?

(Senna's engineer radios about how they need to get "through Massa")
DCr: Or 'round Massa', probably.
MB: Well, he tried 'through', didn't he, and it didn't work? Now he's got to go round him.

MB: Vettel, last year, the year before, he was perfect off the start. Perfect in qualifying. What is going on? It seems like his whole skillset has fallen away at the moment.

MB: Schumacher about to become the cork in the bottle, I reckon.

(Michael retires)
MB: Argh, oh! I haven't been this disappointed since Shrek 2. That is such a shame.

MB: The strategists' brains will be smoking, smoke coming out of their ears, working out when to stop a driver and where to feed him out into any sensible place on the track.

(Ted Kravitz breaks off for some team radio from Paul di Resta)
Engineer: Paul, we are definitely still in a race here. Definitely still in a race.
TK: Everyone's still in a race.

MB: As we expected, Jenson's in the pound seats.

MB: Look at Alonso. Because Hamilton's being held up behind Perez, he's right on the back of him. He's a magician! He just keeps on pulling something out of his hat. When he doesn't appear to have anything in his hat!

(Webber runs wide and very nearly flips arse over tit)
MB: As we watch Mark Webber, running, ouuugh, wow! Got plenty of air underneath that, didn't he? ... You don't wear your tyres out when you're flying through the air!

(Alonso runs wide on the marbles)
MB: I was watching - you were chatting away - and I was thinking "that's not gonna stay on the racetrack".
DCr: But, when you're a magician, even Harry Potter gets the odd spell wrong from time to time. Maybe it was one too many waves of the wand on that occasion.

MB: They've all driven - I think there's been some exquisite driving out there today. I mean, the side-by-sides, just tapping wheel rims, and not putting each other out of the race, and they're hard enough to drive by themselves, these things, without having to jockey around someone beside you.

MB: This is a big victory for Mercedes. They've been feeling pretty unloved in Formula One of late, with other teams cutting new deals in the Concorde Agreement for the future; this is an important marketplace for Mercedes-Benz, and that's very timely indeed, young Rosberg.

DCr: Martin, I know we'd all like to take home a trophy at the end of the day, what do you think of this one?
MB: Don't think it's the prettiest trophy I've ever seen, but it's...memorable, isn't it?
DCr: Rivals Jenson Button's fruit bowl, for his first win in Hungary...

(I would like to add an honourable mention to virtually everything in the BBC's F1 Forum show, which featured (among other things) some excellent banter about Eddie Jordan being texted by "George McCartney", Jakey-boy's iPad running out of battery, then using Twitter on his iPhone and carrying out a request to give Jenson Button a big kiss, EJ bodily shoving fans out of the way of the camera during the Mercedes segment, DC getting caught by a ravening pack of autograph hunters, and finishing with Lao the Chinese expert on English television coverage. Unfortunately he's only half right - I am beginning to agree with the popular opinion that the BBC has the better pre-race and post-race efforts, but Croft and Brundle are far superior to Edwards and Coulthard in race commentary, although I do think the BBC commentary team is improving as Edwards and DC get used to each other - and I also think that Sky's coverage was much improved by substituting the far more jovial presence of Johnny Herbert for Damon Hill. -Mak)

Chinese Grand Prix - The Race

Lights out for the 2012 Chinese Grand Prix at 8am (BST).

This is the BBC's first live race of the season (Ben Edwards & David Coulthard), and they're competing head-to-head with Sky Sports F1 (David Croft & Martin Brundle). Radio 5 Live will also have it if you can't watch (James Allen & Jaime Alguersuari).

To submit a quote from the race, you can post a comment below, or send an e-mail to brundleandfriends (at) gmail.com . It helps if you tell me when it was so I can check for accuracy.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Chinese Grand Prix - Free Practice & Qualifying

First up on Saturday in Shanghai is the 60-minute Free Practice 3 session, starting at 4am (BST); then qualifying follows at 7am (BST).

This is the first live BBC race of the year, with FP3 on the red button and then qualifying on BBC One (Ben Edwards & David Coulthard). Of course, the sessions are also available on Sky Sports F1 (David Croft & Martin Brundle) and BBC Radio 5 Live (James Allen & Jaime Alguersuari).

Submissions may be made as a comment below, or by e-mail to brundleandfriends (at) gmail.com . It helps if you include a timestamp from the broadcast so I can check for accuracy.