Martin returns to the BBC!

Here's an extremely sweet little moment from the BBC's F1 Forum show after the Bahrain Grand Prix; wandering through the paddock, Jake and DC spot a familiar face...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/formula1/17808455

It's a wonderful sweet little moment; sadly region-locked to the UK at present.

China - The Quotes

QUALIFYING

BBC

(Of the braking zone in Turn 6)
DC: It's like being hit in the back of the helmet with a sledgehammer, when you give that first push on the brake pedal...

DC: I like Gary's expression there, more effort there in qualifying. It reminds me of my schooldays! "Must try harder."
BE: Did you ever have that when you were driving, from an engineer?
DC: Oh, constantly.

(Vettel is told he didn't make it through Q2)
DC: That hurts.

EJ: Where is that finger now, I ask? It's disappeared in one swoop!
JH: It's holding his helmet now...

DC: This is like Formula Ford racing, rather than Formula One, it's so close out there.

(Rosberg blows everybody's doors off)
BE: A [1] 35.1! A 35.1! That is a very rapid lap indeed!

(And then strolls off to get weighed before the flag drops)
DC: Just a thought, random thought, but if I was Rosberg, and I think I'm about to possibly have my first pole, I would hang around the garage for the team hug - if it happens - but he's just all alone, walking down to get weighed. Hasn't anyone told him? Hasn't he looked at the screens?

THE RACE

Sky

(Guest pundit Johnny Herbert is shown footage of his 1995 British GP win)
JoH: I'm just surprised it's not in black and white!

MB: A Formula One driver fits into a car like a hand fits into a glove.

(Of the pre-race parade on the pit straight)
SL: I saw an elf on a Segway, which you don't see every day, just going down there.

(Talking to Christian Horner)
MB: I hope you're going to reprimand [the team] for starting the engines while the boss is on the TV, for goodness sake.
CH: I think they do it as soon as they see you, Martin!

(On the grid)
MB: I would like to find a Mercedes-Benz driver...well, let's look for a whole bunch of cameras, and then we might just find a Merc-a-dees driver...(He queues for Rosberg and turns to his PR woman) We always bring him good luck, you know. I think you might have to get in there and, like, boot the others out...(Watching Rosberg speak to someone else) He'll never see where to brake at the first corner after that shirt, he'll be dazzled, won't he?

(Senna's engineer radios about how they need to get "through Massa")
DCr: Or 'round Massa', probably.
MB: Well, he tried 'through', didn't he, and it didn't work? Now he's got to go round him.

MB: Vettel, last year, the year before, he was perfect off the start. Perfect in qualifying. What is going on? It seems like his whole skillset has fallen away at the moment.

MB: Schumacher about to become the cork in the bottle, I reckon.

(Michael retires)
MB: Argh, oh! I haven't been this disappointed since Shrek 2. That is such a shame.

MB: The strategists' brains will be smoking, smoke coming out of their ears, working out when to stop a driver and where to feed him out into any sensible place on the track.

(Ted Kravitz breaks off for some team radio from Paul di Resta)
Engineer: Paul, we are definitely still in a race here. Definitely still in a race.
TK: Everyone's still in a race.

MB: As we expected, Jenson's in the pound seats.

MB: Look at Alonso. Because Hamilton's being held up behind Perez, he's right on the back of him. He's a magician! He just keeps on pulling something out of his hat. When he doesn't appear to have anything in his hat!

(Webber runs wide and very nearly flips arse over tit)
MB: As we watch Mark Webber, running, ouuugh, wow! Got plenty of air underneath that, didn't he? ... You don't wear your tyres out when you're flying through the air!

(Alonso runs wide on the marbles)
MB: I was watching - you were chatting away - and I was thinking "that's not gonna stay on the racetrack".
DCr: But, when you're a magician, even Harry Potter gets the odd spell wrong from time to time. Maybe it was one too many waves of the wand on that occasion.

MB: They've all driven - I think there's been some exquisite driving out there today. I mean, the side-by-sides, just tapping wheel rims, and not putting each other out of the race, and they're hard enough to drive by themselves, these things, without having to jockey around someone beside you.

MB: This is a big victory for Mercedes. They've been feeling pretty unloved in Formula One of late, with other teams cutting new deals in the Concorde Agreement for the future; this is an important marketplace for Mercedes-Benz, and that's very timely indeed, young Rosberg.

DCr: Martin, I know we'd all like to take home a trophy at the end of the day, what do you think of this one?
MB: Don't think it's the prettiest trophy I've ever seen, but it's...memorable, isn't it?
DCr: Rivals Jenson Button's fruit bowl, for his first win in Hungary...

(I would like to add an honourable mention to virtually everything in the BBC's F1 Forum show, which featured (among other things) some excellent banter about Eddie Jordan being texted by "George McCartney", Jakey-boy's iPad running out of battery, then using Twitter on his iPhone and carrying out a request to give Jenson Button a big kiss, EJ bodily shoving fans out of the way of the camera during the Mercedes segment, DC getting caught by a ravening pack of autograph hunters, and finishing with Lao the Chinese expert on English television coverage. Unfortunately he's only half right - I am beginning to agree with the popular opinion that the BBC has the better pre-race and post-race efforts, but Croft and Brundle are far superior to Edwards and Coulthard in race commentary, although I do think the BBC commentary team is improving as Edwards and DC get used to each other - and I also think that Sky's coverage was much improved by substituting the far more jovial presence of Johnny Herbert for Damon Hill. -Mak)

Malaysian Grand Prix - The Race!

The Malaysian Grand Prix is nearly here! The lights go out at 8am GMT, with pre-race starting long before.

It will be covered live on TV by Sky Sports F1 (David Croft & Martin Brundle) and BBC Radio 5 Live (James Allen & Jaime Alguersuari). Extended highlights will then be broadcast on BBC One at 2pm GMT (Ben Edwards & David Coulthard), and the red-button F1 Forum show will be pre-recorded for transmission after the highlights.

To submit a quote from the race, you can post a comment below, or send an e-mail to brundleandfriends (at) gmail.com . It helps if you tell me when it was so I can check for accuracy.

Malaysian Grand Prix - Free Practice 3 & Qualifying

First up is the 60-minute Free Practice 3 session, starting at 5am (GMT); then qualifying follows at 8am (GMT).

Both sessions will be live on Sky Sports F1 (David Croft & Anthony Davidson for FP3; Croft & Martin Brundle for qualifying) and BBC Radio 5 Live (James Allen and Jaime Alguersuari). BBC One will air a highlights programme at 1pm GMT (Ben Edwards & David Coulthard).

Submissions may be made as a comment below, or by e-mail to brundleandfriends (at) gmail.com . It helps if you include a timestamp from the broadcast so I can check for accuracy.

Why Martin Brundle gets top billing here

Sure, he's got great insights, but it's not about having the insights. It's not even about having them and telling us about them at the right time. It's about having them, being able to tell us, and then being able to conjure a memorable turn of phrase out of it. Murray Walker could do it, James Hunt could do it, and so can Martin.

A great example of the difference in class comes when on lap 2, Vettel absolutely mugs Rosberg for his position and probably steals his wallet on the way past as well. Both Brundle on Sky and David Coulthard on the BBC are stunned by the move and know immediately the point they have to make about it. This is what DC said:

"So many times last year, people said 'Can Vettel race?' Well, that was some really good stuff there."

And this is what Martin said:

"That's the man they said can't race in Formula One! Sebastian Vettel, he can only win from the front, apparently! I don't think so! That was amazing!"

Exactly the same point being made, but Martin just knows how to put that bit extra tweak on it. A good piece of commentary from DC, but a great piece from Martin; and so that's why it's MARTIN BRUNDLE!!!!!! (and his friends).

Australian Grand Prix - The Race!

The Australian Grand Prix is nearly upon us! The lights go out at 6am GMT, with pre-race starting long before.

It will be covered live on TV by Sky Sports F1 (David Croft & Martin Brundle) and BBC Radio 5 Live (James Allen & Jaime Alguersuari). Extended highlights will then be broadcast on BBC One at 2pm GMT (Ben Edwards & David Coulthard), and the red-button F1 Forum show will be pre-recorded for transmission after the highlights.

To submit a quote from the race, you can post a comment below, or send an e-mail to brundleandfriends (at) gmail.com . It helps if you tell me when it was so I can check for accuracy.

Australian Grand Prix - Free Practice 3 & Qualifying

First qualifying of the year! It's preceded by the 60-minute Free Practice 3 session, starting at 2:55am (GMT); then qualifying follows at 5:55am (GMT).

Both sessions will be live on Sky Sports F1 (David Croft & Anthony Davidson for FP3; Croft & Martin Brundle for qualifying) and BBC Radio 5 Live (James Allen and Jaime Alguersuari, believe it or not). BBC One will air a highlights programme at 1pm GMT (Ben Edwards & David Coulthard).

Submissions may be made as a comment below, or by e-mail to brundleandfriends (at) gmail.com . It helps if you include a timestamp from the broadcast so I can check for accuracy.

1, 2, 3, 4: I Declare Twitter War

Martin Brundle, 10:34am, from his iPad:
"Staying up? Only place to watch Oz F1 live in UK is Sky Sports F1 channel from 1am Friday. All 3 practices, magazine show, qualy + race live"

David Coulthard, 11:11am, from his iPhone:
"Top Tip, go for quality rather than quantity"

Burn! This could get mighty interesting. Can't wait for the first time they cross paths on the grid. Interestingly, DC didn't do it as a reply directly to Martin. A little passive-aggressive, or did he just not realise you can do that?

Martin's Twitter is @MBrundleF1; Crazy Dave is @therealdcf1.

Who's Who in 2012

So, here are the runners and riders in the 2012 British Television F1 Commentary Handicap Stakes. It seems reasonably obvious that the BBC hold an advantage in pre- and post-race, but during the race itself the calibre on Sky will be very hard to beat - and IIRC it's the Sky commentary that will be taken by most English-language channels who've historically taken UK commentary.

FOR THE BBC

For me the BBC's pre and post-race shows have been extraordinarily consistent and good since 2009. Jake Humphrey, Eddie Jordan and David Coulthard established a quick and easy chemistry that's very easy to watch and listen to, even when EJ goes on one of his patented minute-long questions that turn in circles about eight times and it's impossible to work out how he's expecting the interviewee to answer. To this established group (and they'd be crazy to break it up when they need stability, although perhaps DC will do less work on that front and focus on the commentary box) they're adding a mildly left-field choice in the ex-Jordan designer Gary Anderson. Although more casual fans might not know what to expect from him, he has written an Autosport column for some time and worked for Irish television, so he's not without experience as a pundit. Lee McKenzie remains and will now be the BBC's primary pit lane reporter - it will be interesting to see whether she can get useful information down there while Ted Kravitz is still on the scene working for a different channel.

So to the commentary box. Ben Edwards was the obvious choice with no experienced BBC man to promote. I very much like the work I've heard from him on touring cars and A1GP; just because you go loud and talk fast when exciting things happen, that doesn't mean you're a witless Murray Walker clone, as I've heard some people suggest. I didn't think Brundle was a huge success in the main seat last year - he actively killed exciting moments for me by being very quiet and reserved and ooohing and aaahing carefully when exciting things happened. Maybe I'm just unimaginative, but I like to hear commentators get excited by what they're seeing, as long as it doesn't cause them to start talking bollocks. Coulthard had a good start in the other seat; this is his chance to spread his wings a little and show us what he can do in the box without the training wheels of being able to fall back on matey banter with Martin if he runs out of things to say.

While the BBC only has 10 live races, they do also have all 20 on the radio. An apparent talent vacuum has led to the job apparently trickling downwards to James Allen by default, as the only remaining candidate with any significant experience. Anyone even remotely familiar with F1 prior to 2009 will remember James; and a significant percentage will not do so fondly. Let's get something clear about him - the guy knows what he's talking about, else he wouldn't have held down his job with the Financial Times, and the blog that he has run since 2009 has been extremely well-recieved. For me he was a good pit-lane reporter; but in the commentary box, he never quite learned the knack of being able to show that he knew what he was talking about. He presumably will also commentate on free practice. Of all the losses to Sky, perhaps Anthony Davidson hurts the most here - there's no announcement that I know of on who will replace him, or even if anyone will replace him. Jennie Gow joins that team as the radio pit reporter.

The other question mark for them is how they deal with the issue of gridwalks. The BBC did experiment with two-man gridwalks and Brundle-less gridwalks last year - will they just push DC and EJ alternately onto the grid and see how many times they can trip over Kai Ebel? Where Martin really excelled was spatial awareness; not just bouncing from car to car, but picking up interesting people to talk to along the way like Hamashima-san of Bridgestone then Paul Hembrey of Pirelli, being a face that Bernie was usually willing to talk to, and grabbing anyone else that happened to wander across his path.


FOR SKY SPORTS

Well, let's start with their strengths. They have Martin Brundle. They also have David Croft, the former BBC radio commentator who was frequently rated far better than Jonathan Legard and must have been annoyed when he was passed over for the BBC box in 2011. Rumours have hung around for the past few years that somehow the two don't like each other and that it's prevented them working together. However, this would appear to be the dream pairing (barring a new miraculous medical procedure that could re-age most of Murray Walker's brain to about 50 years old while leaving his memories intact); and at the risk of being hyperbolic, let's remember that Murray and James "Enjoying The Sponsor's Product Plentifully" Hunt didn't get on for quite a while at first after they were thrown together.

Brundle has a roving brief to "divide his time between paddock, pit lane and commentary box", whatever that means. Most practically it opens a space for Anthony Davidson to join Croft for free practice (the BBC are using James Allen and Ben Edwards), in a move that perhaps smacks a little of "because we can". Ted Kravitz returns in the pit lane and will get a chance at more airtime doing presenting work on shows to fill up the F1 channel - he's joined on raceday by Natalie Pinkham (me neither) who presumably will spend her time getting scowled at by retiring drivers while Ted flits between the prat perches finding out interesting things.

Rather like ITV, the further you get away from the race, the dodgier things look for Sky. The anchor is dull Sky man Simon Lazenby, who IIRC has done live studio work for rugby and other "minor major" Sky things. The only-slightly-less-dull Steve Rider is hanging around the place like a bad smell; the press release indicates only that he will be "conducting a series of interviews with big names". Sky appear to have thought that they could go with the cricketing approach of tapping up famous big-name British drivers to fill out time (I watched a very interesting programme where Damon Hill and Nigel Mansell and Murray Walker spent an hour reminiscing, and doubtless there will be 40,000 more opportunities to see it on the new F1 channel) - except that they're the only two who aren't ancient, dead, or still driving. Are Jackie Stewart and Stirling Moss going to start appearing? I doubt Eddie Irvine is interested (or coherent) and I doubt they'd pop for DI Mark Blundell. Will we see the lesser-spotted Jonathan Palmer again? What are they going to do for a pre-race show, anyway? Are they going to be in the paddock or a studio in Isleworth?

Oh, and apparently Georgie Thompson is coming over from Sky Sports News to work on the stuff they have to make up to fill time between races. Which is a thing that is happening.

A lot of unanswered questions there, clearly. Only way to find out how this all shakes down is in Melbourne.